When we interact with others, and symptoms like panic attacks or muscle tension appear, our instinct is often to hide or control them. We try to mask what’s happening inside us—leading to muscular compensation and psychological strain.

But sometimes, it’s not the symptoms themselves that make us anxious. In fact, the anxiety often begins the moment we see another person—before any symptoms arise. It’s not what happens in the body that triggers anxiety, but rather, our relationship to being seen.

So what thoughts or attitudes might trigger this anxiety?

Often, it’s a compulsion to hide parts of our true selves—especially the parts we deem imperfect, unworthy, or shameful. We fear others will judge or reject us if they see these parts.

But why do we want to hide them?

Because past experiences have taught us that these traits were not acceptable. We learned that if we didn’t hide our fear, our sensitivity, our quietness, or even our relaxed nature, we would be judged, shamed, or left behind.

And what exactly are we hiding? The answer is unique to each of us. But many of us share a common root: growing up in environments that denied our natural traits. Whether it was being told we were “too emotional,” “too sensitive,” or simply “not enough,” we internalized a need to constantly monitor ourselves—to meet others’ expectations rather than our own truth.

This creates a painful paradox: we hide in order to be accepted, to connect. But the very act of hiding—through anxiety, tension, and bodily contraction—becomes the barrier to real connection.

So how do we break this cycle?

We start by telling ourselves: I will hide no more. I am who I am.

What does that really mean?

It means choosing honesty over performance. It means embracing both our light and our shadow. It means being brave enough to show up as we truly are—imperfections and all.

Why is this important?

When we stop hiding, our physical presence begins to change. Our posture softens. We breathe more easily. Our muscles release. In this relaxed state, we become more attuned to others’ emotions—and more able to express our own.

We also begin to see people’s true reactions to us. Their affection or aversion is now directed at our real selves—not at a mask. As a result, the connections we form are more genuine, resilient, and enduring. Pretences can collapse—but our authentic self remains.

What do others’ opinions really reflect?

Do others’ judgments show us who we truly are—or who they are?

Different people will always see us differently. Their perceptions shift, but our core self remains constant. Therefore, what they reflect often tells us more about them than it does about us.

When we allow others to see our true selves—and give them space to respond however they choose—we gain something valuable: the chance to see them more clearly too.

Why does that matter?

Because only when we see others for who they really are can we stop projecting the past onto the present. We stop believing that everyone is like the people who once hurt us.

This belief—that everyone will harm us the same way—creates a harmful bias. It is untrue, and it is unfair to those who are kind, respectful, and open. Humanity is far more nuanced, compassionate, and diverse than our trauma-trained minds might believe.

Chronic emotional and physical tension often stems from a loss of trust—both in others and in ourselves. To break free from this cycle of fear and projection, we must allow ourselves to see and be seen.

Only then can healing begin.